Join us for our fifth annual Best First Line contest!

Have a great story inside you screaming to get out?

 

 

WE HAVE OUR WINNERS!

 

 

Thank you to everyone who entered the Best First Line Contest, and especially to those who formatted according to the rules!  We've had a record number of entries this year, and so many really wonderful ones!  Keep an eye on this page for the semi-finalists.  Winners will be announced mid-December.  Thanks for making this such a fun contest!

And something else we can have fun with--the winner's line, with permission, will be posted at my discussion board to begin a round robin story (where each person contributes one line/paragraph to the ongoing story, throwing in twists and turns).  It might be fun to see where the story goes, courtesy of all you creative people out there! ~~ Tina


 Okay, how about just the first line? 

Then this is the contest for you! 

 

Write the MOST SHOCKING first line (Something fun and suspenseful) and email it to me

Contest Rules: Please read prior to sending your entry.

 

See our previous winners to spark your imagination.

Entries so far

 

1st Place: $75.00 and autographed book of your choice*

 

2nd Place: $25.00 and autographed book of your choice*

 

3rd Place: An autographed book of your choice*

 

All entries will be posted here as I get them with either your name or your initials if you give me no indication of preference.  Keep checking back to see what’s been added!  Contest begins September 1, 2005. Deadline is October 31, 2005.   Winners will be announced and notified by mid December 2005.

NOTE: Please format your entries as follows:

IMPORTANT! Put Best First Line Contest in your subject field so it doesn't get lost in the Spam folder.

If you don't see your entry posted within a week, please check with me to make sure I got it.

My great line. - My name or initials. Don't use quotes unless the line is a spoken dialog.

Make sure your entry is only one sentence. (Long, run-on sentences are usually scored lower.)

* For international winners, prize will be a gift certificate at B&N.com in the same amount.

 

2005 Entries so far:

 

WE HAVE OUR WINNERS!

Congratulations to the winners, the finalists, and to everyone who had the courage to enter a line!

First Place Winner:

Of all the ways to be found by your bridegroom, twenty minutes before your wedding, on your knees with another man's hardware in your hands is not the one I would suggest. -- Amanda G. Puckett

Second Place Winner:

Running the marathon would be easy; it was committing a murder at the 19-mile mark that would prove to be hard. --Wendy Burt

Third Place Winner:

Wouldn't Scott be surprised when she greeted him at the door tonight with a bullet instead of a kiss. --- Bernice S. Renkawek

Honorable Mentions:

The happiest day of my life was the day I ran into Mark's body in the morgue. – Denise Jones

As if waking-up dead wasn't bad enough, Hell looked suspiciously like my cubicle at work. – Neil Nelson

 

HERE ARE THE FINALISTS!  WATCH FOR ANNOUNCEMENT OF WINNERS SOON!

"It's like being in a cartoon, a really bad cartoon," thought Margie, as she heard the train's whistle in the distance and finally gave up struggling against the rope. -- CTN  

Lost in the dense, tangled jungle for days, we finally emerged onto the beach tired but triumphant - only to find our boat gone and the head of our missing guide on a stake. – LK

As I typed up the details in my online auction, I thought to myself, "Now, what would be the most appropriate font for 'Nice Casket - Hardly Used?'" - Casey Becher

After walking into her living room and, without a word, firing one shot into the middle of her husband's forehead, Marge is doing thirty to life but it is the happiest she has been in twenty years. - JTS

I finally figured out what a booby trap was the day I went in for a mammogram. - GF

As I looked down at the face of the survey taker I had just shot, I asked him if the pain was (a) mild, (b) moderate or (c) intense.--CS

She began removing her dress while the allure of gunpowder was still thick in the air. - RB

The happiest day of my life was the day I ran into Mark's body in the morgue. -- DJ

I thought I'd been dreaming, but here I was, wide awake and frantically trying to remember how I'd ended up in mob boss Frankie Santori's bed, totally nude, under sheets colorfully printed with characters from "Finding Nemo"; and thinking that very soon, the phrase, "sleeps with the fishes", was going to take on a whole new meaning. -- LK

As if waking-up dead wasn't bad enough, Hell looked suspiciously like my cubicle at work. -- NN

John awoke with a ringing in his ears, and the slow realization that he was lying on the 50 yard line, and was naked... --SB

Another battered, blonde , buxom, bimbo in her bikini was found floating in Vic's pool this morning.--AHS

He saw the next victim in his rearview mirror, her long blonde hair pulled back from her face with soft purple ribbons, her Guess jeans cut up high showing off her summer bronzed legs. --Robin E. Ball

Lily wanted to enjoy Toby's advances, but if the detective's hand moved an inch higher he'd find the murder weapon. -- NT

As Daniel hurtled toward the earth, his failed parachute a mass of flapping, twisted nylon, he obscenely thought of how he despised the dark blue suit Lucille would dress his corpse in. - JTS

It's not something I would normally do, pour a corpse a glass of champagne. - JTS

Laughing hysterically into the still desert night, Jonathan found it caustically ironic that he had never taken notice of the omnipresent, sparking brilliance of the heavens, never until now, buried up to his neck in the sand. - MJS

Through the darkness, a thin sliver of light fell across Charlotte's face, dividing it into equal parts, a perfect target for the swinging axe. - JTS

Running the marathon would be easy; it was committing a murder at the 19-mile mark that would prove to be hard. --Wendy Burt

When I woke up from death, I was living in eternity but what shocked me more was that God had my face and spoke in my voice. --DS

Waking up in my own bed, I recognize my own body, but not the cold stiff body lying beside me.—SW

It's going to be a long drive, I think, glancing over my shoulder at the body of my husband propped up on the back seat.--SW

I knew I was not back to the right body when I woke up; I started checking... --ME

A damp air slithered through the valley, rustling prairie grass and new spring leaves, carrying with it a disease from the East that would produce a wake of pure, all-encompassing death.--CTN

What do you do when you have locked all the doors only to find out the monster you are trying to keep out is you?--Erica Jaslow

Megan Daniels finished signing the last of her new hire employment forms, set her pen down and looked up just as the body fell past the fifteenth story window.--Courtney Mroch

I raced after her down the lane, shouting Zelda Zelda, knowing that if she reached the glob of mist at the end she'd be dead again. - R.F. Marazas

Your mindset for the next five minutes, will determine your destiny for the next five years.--E.H.

My image in the mirror had always been there for me, doing exactly what I do, aping my every movement, but this morning, it declared independence. -- Ritchie Annand

There are two kinds of people: those who get up before the rising sun, and those who have the good sense to pull the covers over their head and actually dream a little. -- BG

I rose early that morning and fetched the paper to read about the growing list of grisly casualties in the jetliner crash only to see my obituary staring back at me.--LC

Desperately searching for someplace to hide, I scrambled and clawed my way beneath the dense brush surrounding the swamp, and hugged the cold, dank earth, praying that he wouldn't find me; until I became horrifyingly aware that I wasn't the only one, or the only thing, hiding there. -- LK

Sick of his mother's ranting and raving about starving children in China and how he should be thankful for every morsel, Willie stealthily slipped his bowl beneath the table where Rusty, his Golden Retriever, hungrily lapped and crunched the finger/toe stew, his mother's specialty. – MJS

God has no mercy for someone staring down the barrel of a 45 calibur. –AA

Antonia planted a stiletto heel on his chest, aimed her gun between his eyes, and sweetly said, "You've pissed me off for the last time, Jake." --Kymm Stokke

Of all the ways to be found by your bridegroom, twenty minutes before your wedding, on your knees with another man's hardware in your hands is not the one I would suggest. -- Amanda G. Puckett

Wouldn't Scott be surprised when she greeted him at the door tonight with a bullet instead of a kiss. --- BR

 

2005 Entries

 

In the face of danger I screamed,ran quickly away and found it was only my image in the mirror hauntingly transformed. -- BMC

The feeling crept up on her,she had no way to deny it, obviously she had to tell him that she needed him or she'd be risking her sanity. -- TL

"My, but you're a big one, aren't you!" -- RG

I lost my innocence, sanity, and car last night; I just wish I could remember the rest of the party. -- RL

I saw the hand, then darkness - now I was alone and terrified. -- TL

The eerie quiet and chill of the night set the perfect mood for what I was about to do. -- TL

As I gazed at the cold dead body, I wondered when it would all come to an end?   -- CK

A plethora of dried crimson rivulets of blood ran the length of the drive and on up the path to the mahogany door which was closing just as two black rubber soled Alfanis disappeared from view. -- SC

Our Intrepid Explorer, still feeling hung over and dazed after his highly successful impression of a lightening rod the previous night...could really only wonder why there was a dead person and a half-deflated blow-up doll in bed with him. - Patrick Williams "Yes," I said to the detective, feigning grief as Istared into the stranger's face,"this is my husband's
body." -- RO

Note to alternate personalities: Do NOT go out with a guy named Roger today no matter how cute he is! -- RO

“I'll switch the music now”, said Robert, as he kneeled next to the blind woman who was no longer  breathing and took the old 78 record from her bloody, limp hand. --- TA

Sean was so excited to finally be holding Emily's hand after all these years; too bad the rest of Emily was left sprawled out on the dewey lawn for the neighbors to find in the morning. -- LC

One month earlier, while planning a trip to her hometown, Natasha had no idea of the danger that awaited her. -- LQ

Lucus awoke with a hangover to die from, with no idea where he's been and thinking this day couldn't get any worse, he realized his hands were covered in blood. -- DS

Laura walked in the door hoping for a big surprise on her birthday; What she saw wasn't the surprise she was hoping for. -- EG

After repeatedly plunging and removing the knife from his mother's chest cavity, six year old Timmy licked the blade clean, savoring every drop of the red nectar. -- RA

What do you mean..."What did I do now?" -- EB

I can't believe I just did that! -- MH

HEY GUYS, YOU'LL NEVER GUESS WHO WON THE LOTTERY! -- LB

"I'LL JUST DIE IF HE ASKS ME OUT!" -- LB

'I know what you did....when, where and how!' -- LB

Maxwell calmly and with great enjoyment gnawed on a leg bone while watching the police detectives pondered who had bludgeoned to death one legged Jake but Maxwell could not tell them that his mistress had bludgeoned to death her seventh and richest husband, Jake, to death with a leg of mutton. -- LS

My image in the mirror had always been there for me, doing exactly what I do, aping my every movement, but this morning, it declared independence.  -- Ritchie Annand

As the hand slowly came away from the woman's face, she was beyond caring why fate had chosen her for it's next victim. -- AM

I always thought celebrating Halloween in may would be a fun idea... -- LH

There's an instant of awful knowing before the pain of a deep wound. --WHR

It had been an easy thing for Jack to program in an extra security code, a "backdoor", before installing the security system in the home of the man who had ruined his life. -Laura Cochran

Siena only noticed Marshall Birnbaum's body because of its proximity to the Betsy Elizabeth doll. -Laura Cochran

Wu, one of the ugliest men Lao had ever seen—more gargoyle than man—was calling the precinct station for more backup, his hand clamped over his free ear to block the onslaught of demands. -Laura Cochran

Interesting that HE didn't just drown but hung from the tree when the branch broke and died by suicide or not. --RS

 had never been to a worse Karaoke competition in my life. - AW

He never gave me a rose or held my hand instead he gave me a slap and
bruised my face. --LE

Only after Larry finished his second helping of mashed potatoes did his wife
finally die. --VS

Maggie knew that returning to Hancock College would be difficult, but she never thought that she would imagine that Patrick, her dead fiancé, was actually walking across the quad towards her, yet that is exactly what her eyes told her she was seeing as she sat on the steps of her new home, the President's House.  - MLC


There must be something wrong with her head; or was it her hair...? -- ME

"I'll never forget the moment I realized my father didn't love me." -- TS

I'm hiding in my mind now and I am  finally alone, the green glowing eyes have faded into my past.   --PJ

I'm not sure what it was or how it came here but I could still feel it's presence in the room.  --PJ

The room was deathly quiet as the Judge walked into the room to pronounce the verdict, I could feel the anger  in his eyes. --PJ

Hearing the flap of its wings I looked up only too late to stop its talons from grasping my hair.  --PJ

Who knew the amount of shit I'd get into when I accepted the Case of the Maltese Coprolite? --DRC

More people die while reading than in terrorist attacks. -- CS

Gulping at the enormity of it, you realise that the future of humanity is in your own hands, just because, enroute to your idea of heaven, you somehow took a wrong turn. --TL

My life is a fairytale - unfortunately, not an Aesop's fable with a nifty moral, or a fluffy Mother Goose nursery rhyme; but a twisted Brothers Grimm. -- ADL

In all, she guessed she could tolerate the kids; they didn't eat a lot and they cleaned house better than anyone she'd ever heard of.  ---Wendy Usher


They say time heals all wounds, but some wounds take an eternity just to stop bleeding. - CLN

Ashley smiled at the blood dripping down her arm, knowing that this secret vice, this cutting of her perfect skin, would arouse her father's wrath and her mother's tears, but she no longer cared. --Donna A. Parker


Dwayne walked into the pawn shop -- straight to the glass case where the handguns were on secured display.  --RE

"This will take us all day," Carla muttered while snapping on rubber gloves, and then her stomach launched a tidal wave over the bloody carnage scattered across the beach.--SD

As I turned on Bourbon Street, a weak, scratchy voice reached my ears. -- A. O.

My sister loves getting married--she has a wash and wear wedding dress--but she hates getting divorced, so she doesn't; she just kills them. -- GS

It had been a lousy, rotten day, but Gordon's mood improved dramatically once he got home and found the corpse in his bathtub. -- JG

ABSOLUTELY RIPPED TO PIECES; That's what happened to her poor skirt when she tried to climb the barb wire fence... -- WLK

Her puzzled expression reflected mine, but that is where the similarity ended; the woman in the mirror wasn't me. -- TMH


Cass stared down the dangling length of her body, past her bare feet and into the myriad of shining eyes that swam in the inky darkness below, knowing full well that their dentation outnumbered the stars in the moonlit sky overhead. -- SC

Gritting her teeth to ease the pain, she slowly cut her way through the rope that bound her hands together-tears flowed freely now, as she recalled how just yesterday she was on a plane eager to start her vacation in this now foreign hell.--MP

Running the marathon would be easy; it was committing a murder at the 19-mile mark that would prove to be hard. --Wendy Burt

Sluts woke up with a strange man in their bed; Sarah woke up with a dead one.--Wendy Burt

If it wasn't for the contents of Pepper's vomit, Charlene would have gotten away with murder.--Wendy Burt

I wonder if God does a roll call every week , to check if some of us, who ought to be living, have not committed suicide behind His back...--AS

So I'm gorging on Black Forest cake topped with crème brulée in the Styx café, when this wombat, soused on Manischewitz, comes plopping over, grabs my head, and bites off my nose. --DC

So you ask me, how did I get run over by a car while I was going to the bathroom and I tell to you, boychik, it isn't easy.-- Gerald Eisman

Dwight smiled and sighed as he pulled the strap of his seat belt tight across his chest; clearly, the guy had no idea there was a ripening corpse in his back seat. --Jennifer Gomoll
Her eyes dripped with devilish intent as she held the razor by his throat.--TW

Elizabeth couldn't help but notice how much Michael looked like his father as he delicately placed a raw human heart on the dinner plate in front of her.--LS

When I woke up from death, I was living in eternity but what shocked me more was that God had my face and spoke in my voice. --DS

Are you "going commando? --PB

In the black of night an ungodly figure rises from the depths of hell. --DP

Waking up in my own bed, I recognize my own body, but not the cold stiff body lying beside me.--SW

It's going to be a long drive, I think, glancing over my shoulder at the body of my husband propped up on the back seat.--SW As he fell to his death, he foolishly clutched his jacket pocket making
sure it was still there.--VLB Keith stabbed Sheila over and over again, but she just wouldn't die. - Diana Eid

A wolf howled in the distance and the moon shone brightly on the lake, yet nothing could keep me from replaying in my mind what I was about to do.   --JR

Melinda had to wake early if she wanted to get started on the first task of the day: killing her husband.-- Monique Poché

 

The ordinary school day took on a chilling, surreal quality, as the deranged gunman opened fire on the school building, blowing out the windows of the
classrooms in building 2. --KO

He had never met a woman he couldn't displease. -- MLC

The cracks in the old barn, let the darkness creep in. --BP

I knew I was not back to the right body when I woke up; I started checking... --ME


I know you've got that little problem with serial murder," the therapist told Frank, "but that doesn't make you a bad person." -- JG

Waking up in the arms of a beautiful, nude woman is a wonderful way to start the day -- until you notice that she's dead. -- JG

Some hectic work days you feel like your head is going to explode, some days it feels like it did; well today was one of those days.  --BH

 "After I ate all those worms, I just lost my self respect," Janice admitted.--PDT

It was just my luck to have a heart attack on Times Square the day I was wearing holey underwear and dirty socks. --S.W.

"Never fry bacon in your underwear," she warned, looking down at her blistered tummy. --S.W.


"Never feed your goldfish dry grits," she sobbed, watching her beloved Bubbles float at the top of the aquarium with his golden scales dimmed and a large split down his swollen body.   --S.W.

Sally was horrified to see her beloved toy poodle  being carried away in the claws of a huge hawk.  --SW

The giant spider wove his web tighter and tighter around Sheila, rolled her up in a sticky silken ball, and dragged her down into his den, where she struggled to extricate herself before her lungs gave out of air.  --S.W.

The August heat bore down on Angela, gasping for air, desperate, knowing that her inhaler was locked in the car, sitting on the seat beside her newborn daughter. --CTN

The Aegean Star sank fast into the Mediterranean following a massive explosion, taking down with it 242 passengers--all tragic deaths, but none more shocking than the one known as His Holiness, the Pope. --CTN

A damp air slithered through the valley, rustling prairie grass and new spring leaves, carrying with it a disease from the East that would produce a wake of pure, all-encompassing death.--CTN

From the moment she emerged, fully formed, from the belly of an alien named Adam, Esmeralda whooped wildly and refused to look upon the spongy creature caked in rotting flesh.-- DR

Sam peered into the skylight on her first day of surveillance,  dreading the scene she trusted to transpire.--CM

I don't even vacuum my house; why would I rake somebody's sand?  -- JHB

Is it absurd to be in a relationship simply because he can use the word “acerbic” correctly in a complete sentence? –JHB

Legs sticking, pushing through the heavy night warmth, I reached the driveway and collapsed against the coolness of my silver Honda CRV bumper wishing I was home where people loved me, even if I wasn't a  mother.--JHB

Looking absolutely dumbfounded, Mark turned off the blow dryer, set  the bristly round brush on his counter and asked, as only a gay man would, “how could you have great sex with someone who was fat?”—JHB

Actually, I'm the biggest threat to my marriage.--JHB

After she got dressed and composed, she left the church.--JP What do you do when you have locked all the doors only to find out the monster you are trying to keep out is you?--Erica Jaslow

For sixteen years, Julian Gordon kept a candle continuously lit on his mantelpiece in vein hopes that Karin Crews would be his someday, but when Karin and her husband were reported missing the day after Thanksgiving, the skeletons of the past association between Julian and Karin would finally be brought to light.--RAB

It started out just like Romeo and Juliet, but me and Danny ended in tragedy.--HG

Grandma, town midwife, ratcatcher, and mother of ten, loved babies and hated children. --DC

She lay clutching the photo she'd thought would save her, but it only showed the novice photographer's own right eye. -- JHR

As he lowered Francine's still squirming body into the hastily dug grave, Jacob could hear the muffled cries of the long night's previous victims rising from the sodden earth in a ghastly chorus that made him wish he could turn away from his dark destiny.  --Lee Clark Zumpe

The zip of his pants matched the sound and speed of the razor blade he slashed across my throat .--SP

She must have been dead for some time, her arms were locked around her wide-eyed enfant daughter in the death grip that ultimately bought her baby her life. --KC

Hello father , good-bye father; Jacob sneered into the frantic eyes of the pathetic man who had given him life, while he, the misbegotten son ushered him to his well deserved death. --KC

Christi frantically chipped away at the moldering, ancient concrete around the basement window when her hopes of escape were dashed by the creak of the cellar door opening. --KC

Katrina had to make a choice between the 2 closed doors , one marked Heaven , the other Hell.--PA

The initial time I was fired for being intoxicated I was perhaps deserving, having sneezed a devastating toxic bomb on my supervisor's oil laced shop apron and falling to one knee to gather my glass eye as it rolled under the churning lathe, but my subsequent dismissals left no doubt in my mind that the working world took a dim view of my inebriant ways.--JB It's funny how hearing a song can take you back in time, playing back movies of memories in your head...not always good ones.  --SC

The world was reeling by the recent news that Elvis was indeed alive.--MH

Four days after the end of the world, the last human being left on Earth heard a knock on his door. --JG

One thing was for sure, I was going to have one heck of a time explaining how my finger ended up in the mouth of a dead man. --KR

Megan Daniels finished signing the last of her new hire employment forms, set her pen down and looked up just as the body fell past the fifteenth story window.--Courtney Mroch
She waited, she planned, she suffered, and when she knew that the life within her was real, she ran.--CG

They were just eight people, trapped in a bathroom, and scared beyond belief. --AJ

Oh, I love how the street light glistens in the drool dripping off your lips.--John J. Dilworth


Yes, there is indeed truth behind such worn-out cliches as "look before you leap" and "let sleeping dogs lie," but there was no time to ponder that point now as I swam for my life in the deadly current, a mad dog paddling furiously in my wake.   --MWM

I raced after her down the lane, shouting Zelda Zelda, knowing that if she reached the glob of mist at the end she'd be dead again. - R .F. Marazas

Margie heard the infant's scream more clearly now, and renewed her frantic digging in the moist, dark soil,  breaking another fingernail.--SH

Awakened by a putrid odor, I escaped my dream to stumble upon the other side of death. --LM

The blanket ripped from under him as Dr. Beverly Stuart yanked it from the bed, wrapped it around her scantly clothed body and ran through the scorching blaze, into her daughter's smoke-filled room.--SKF

Alexandra wanted Warren badly, but not here, not now, not at the Piggly Wiggly. - Zara H.

You can imagine Willard's chagrin when, standing by his bed, he looked down and saw that, indeed, he had died during the night.--RWS

The Sunday edition screamed the headline: President of the U.S. abducted by aliens!--JR

All I felt was anger,as I looked down at my lifeless body!--Patricia Medlin


Jennifer wiped a swath of grime from the cracked mirror, peered into it, and thought, "Who the hell is that?" - Rocky Montenegro

Flat-faced, square-jawed, lanky Nell strode into the courtroom channeling Lady Justice, and everyone knew Eemie's fate had just changed.--Leslie Poston

Her moist, tender lips were exploring his body when the moment died, because his breath smelled like a garbage truck. -- Barbara Hollace

I held my breath as my car slid into the intersection, past the six-foot piles of snow and the red traffic light. - Betty Dobson

I kissed her bloody knuckles and whispered, "Do you think he's really dead this time?" - Betty Dobson

I should have known there'd be dwarves. - Betty Dobson


Janeane bit her lower lip and tried not to think about the half pack of cigarettes in her purse. - Betty Dobson

Dawn broke scarlet that day, tracing a bloody trail on the waters beyond the cliff. - Betty Dobson


Your mindset for the next five minutes, will determine your destiny for the next five years.--E.H.
Toilets and dead bodies don't mix.--MA

The phantom entered, not to invade but furl its spirit in her heart, becoming the memory of death that slumbered in Emily's troubled mind, yet she knew it held the key between this desolated realm and far beyond.--MJD

Sebastian reached through the cage, with shaking, feeble hands to grab what was to be his supper for the night! --T.L.

Sucking on sugar babies and dancing in daisies was the only happiness Tara would know.-- TL